Strange how it's always complaints that get me back to blogging. I have plenty of them buf for now I'll focus on customer service.

Recently I've noticed that some folks believe the economy is slipping a bit. Not as fast as gas prices but I digress. Based only on my personal interaction with these companies and their customer service I think I know why. They have made customer service such an oxymoron that nobody expects any!

Recently I installed a new printer in the Franken-Lab and at one point was having a minor issue. I got on the web site and was immediately greeted with a pop-up that asked "would you like an on-line chat with a customer service representative?" That sounded nice so I clicked 'Yes' then entered my name and 'Continue'. Then it said "No representatives are currently available, please try again later." So why ask me if you're just gonna tell me to go away? A good transaction gone bad. Turns out what I needed was only a click away and now my reaction is totally negative thanks to them trying to "help".

Back to the main point though. The number one issue that I encounter and this one is #1 with a bullet, (It's usually also #2, #3 and most of the numbers down to about 18 or 20) is that you simply cannot comprehend what they are saying. It's not simply that they don't speak my language as a first language it's that they have an accent so thick it becomes a speach impediment in MY language. Couple that with sentance structure in their language, spoken in mine, and all too often my response to a question can only be: "WHAT?"

And unfortunately they can't understand me either. I'm from the midwest where there is no accent, (look it up, I'm not kidding) but even if they hear what I say, they don't comprehend it. So I gravitate toward email tech support (which by the way is EXACTLY what they want!!!) and instead get to read their sentences over until I can understand what they are asking.

The trigger for this post was my Vonage Linksys phone adapter going casters up on Wednesday last week. It took all weekend with their email tech support to get to the point of a simple test that took 1 minute to determine the thing was dead! PULEEZE! They had me trying all manner of stuff including logging into the thing with the admin account and reconfiguring it when the simple test was 'power off, connect ONLY a phone, power on. If it has no dial tone, "It's dead Jim." (to quote my favorite cranky star hopping Dr.) WHY NOT TRY THAT FIRST! AAARGH. Instead they had me trying all manner of things to asses my connectivity to their service all the while ignoring the fact that the IDENTICAL unit sitting next to it that services my home service never skipped a beat. A fact I pointed out in larger and bolder font with each response!

Of course my favorite is the statement that they are there 24 hours a day to help just call 1-866-Ino-help. In the end rather than repair or replace I decide to not spend the money and cancel the service. So I call the number (because you can only cancel by phone, but, but wait, it, um, I, oh no! IT"S NOT WORKING! AAAAARGH!) {Yes Yes it reminds me of the 'straight line' the old line phone operators would always ask: 'Are you calling from the number that's not working?'} Even when I call from my cell phone however I'm told 'Greetings to you who have called for asistance! We can be pleased to be telling you that hours are not now but will be 8 to 9 in your timezone. Please to be returning our call at that time.' OK actually the RECORDING was done by someone who actually speaks English but likely as not is out of a job....

As an aside, I can't even comprehend those out there who speak other languages but are forced to call for tech support in English when that is their second (or 3rd or 4th) language. Hats off to you folks for tolerating us too!

I guess what irritates me the most is that we consumers are being told to 'spend' to get the economy going but the manufacturers send the jobs oversees. So just where exactly are we to get this money to spend? While not exactly on target with technical support my favorite recent example is the closing of THE 'Vice Grip' (Newall Rubbermaid) plant in Dewitt Nebraska it's jobs sent to China. I immediately contacted them here and let them know that while I used to consider 'Vice Grip' brand pliers 'THE BEST' they are now lumped in with 'cheap chinese junk' and I expect never to purchase another pair especially since the chrome plating will likely be replaced with lead based paint to further save cost. Strangely they never responded...

But it's the same with support. We buy the product here but can't get help with it without talking to someone ten thousand miles away who speaks another language. Sadly that person likely couldn't afford the product on the wage they get supporting it!

Now there are some notible exceptions to this horrible and diabolical plot, OK one that I can think of, IBM i support. Yes some of the level 1 people exibit traits listed above but are well enough trained to simply type in what I tell them and then ask ME which department to send me to. They don't even try to comprehend the problem they simply open the bugger and send me to the smart MIDWEST people that speak my language.

The smart midwesten people also understand 'wind chill', 'snow day', 'off roading', 'snowmobile', 'lake affect', and 'rubber side down'. That 'rubber side down' recommendation is one you'll understand very clearly if you ignore 'wind chill' during 'lake affect' on a 'snow day' and drive your car like a 'snowmobile' causing you to go 'off roading' un-expectedly. :-)

Oh yah, one last thing, remember in my last post The laptop continued....>

/RANT *CONTINUE

Since February this thing has had more patches then IBM i V5R4 and that's a sad statement for a simple desktop operating system. Nonetheless it still suffers from a LEAST these two stoopid problems:

a) If you close the lid while it's in the act of suspending it will hard reboot. Nice.

b) If you lose power to the docking station, even for a second, the entire machine locks up solid and only 15 seconds on the power button to force power off will do anything at all. Oh sure the display stays on with what you WERE working happily displayed but that's just to taunt you...

/RANT *PAUSE (it ain't fixed yet….)

- DrF